Memories … of my Engagement Day

Inscribed by Hariharan

I am not good with remembering dates … And I have been in trouble (and I guess would be in future too) for this trait of mine. But when I do remember something of the past, it does bring back either fond/sad memories based on what the event was.

Janani reminded me last week that it was around this time 4 years back that her father had (finally) called my father “to discuss the marriage or their daughter Janani”. After lots of attempts, this day had finally come. I will remain eternally thankful to Mama for that one gesture. As they say, “Khareed liya mujhe” !!!

I had not blogged much at that time about it, I guess 4 years down the line, is a good time.

So, what followed is the proverbial “Jhat Mangni – Pat Byah”. Engagement (7th May, 2006) and Marriage (6th July, 2006). So here is the story.

Parents Meeting (29-30 April, 2006, will confirm the exact date – Janani help!!): Before every wedding, there is a ponnu paakal ceremony – where the guy and his family (and relatives) go to see the girl. This ceremony has been made famous in many Tamil movies where the party comes in with fruits, flowers, sweets etc in various plates. In my case, it was the opposite. The Girls parents and relatives came to see the guy (Me). This event normally has the girls’ parents show off the girls “talents” – “Ponnu roumba nalla samayal pannuva” or “Ponnu roumba nalla paduva” etc. My all excited mother also didn’t hesitate to “show off” my talent. She went on “Hari roumba nalla samayal pannuvan .. Kitchen le enna roumba help pannuvan” or “Hari roumba nalla paduva … Hari Kanna oru paatu paadi Kaatu da !?” … And when my mom says that, I can never refuse ... :) … I was wondering if my mother would finally cap the ceremony by claiming “Unda Table cloth-le embroidery Hari than pannirkaan !!!!” … After that effective selling, who could refuse a ”IT professional boy – who can cook and sing” !! … So the Formal Engagement was set for a week later at my home.

Engagement (7th May, 2006): It was a small ceremony with close family members from both sides. Amma was happy to have that function at my newly purchased house and see her last wish fulfilled – seeing her son getting “settled”. For me, I guess as much as I had always wanted this day, the feeling was just not setting in. I just couldn’t believe that it all happening – I was very happy. But all this was also in the backdrop of my mother’s failing health condition and her slowly losing her 6 year battle with Cancer. So, the feeling inside me was such a strange concoction of extreme happiness and extreme sadness. I guess it leaves you silent and numb – all you give is a silent smile. I am able now to put all this in words now, but it was would have been very difficult for me to even describe this at that time. I guess my mother was also going through a similar feeling. We just smiled at each other.

Janani was looking extremely beautiful (as always), first in a light blue saree and then changed into the saree that I gave her - a dark blue with red/maroon border. You can see that in the link. Let me see if Janani can fish out our Family photo that we took at that time.

It also dawned on me for the first time that my life is going to change into something very different soon. I had to now look at life more seriously and together we had to start building our live together. We have come quite a long way – and I can only say that it has been such a wonderful journey with Janani.

If there is something that I miss, its my mother. Happy Mother’s Day – Amma. (Wherever you are, I know you are watching over us !!)

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Translations:
- Amma (Tamil)- Mother
- Ponnu paakal (Tamil)…Seeing the Girl
- Khareed liya mujhe (Hindi) … meaning to be indebted be to someone
- Jhat Mangni – Pat Byah (Hindi) – Fast engagement and a faster marriage
- Ponnu roumba nalla samayal pannuva (Tamil)– Girl can cook well
- Ponnu roumba nalla paduva (Tamil)– Girl can sing well
- Hari roumba nalla samayal pannuvan .. Kitchen le enna roumba help pannuvan (Tamil)… Hari can cook well and helps me a lot on the Kitchen
- Hari roumba nalla paduva … Hari Kanna oru paatu paadi Kaatu da !? (Tamil)– Hari can sing well ..Hari, Please sing a song for us!!
- Unda Table cloth-le embroidery Hari than pannirkaan !!!! (Tamil)… Hari has done that embroidery on that table cloth

Thanks to Janani for finding these photos for me !!